"English language summary of the latest episode of Andras' Hungarian podcast 'Ilyen az ember (avagy beszelgetesek egy pszichiaterrel)' - 'The Human Condition (Conversations with a Psychiatrist)'."
Addiction is often oversimplified in public discourse, mostly confined to the context of substance use, while stigmas and misconceptions cloud its complexities. But in a recent discussion, Dr. Anna Vasadi, a psychiatrist with over 45 years of expertise, expanded on addiction’s intricate nature, describing it as a spectrum that reaches far beyond the usual definitions. In our talk, we explored how addiction extends into emotional dependencies and relationship-based attachments and discussed the demanding road to recovery.
For many, addiction suggests an attachment to drugs or alcohol. Dr. Vasadi’s view broadens this definition, framing addiction as a state where someone’s life feels incomplete or unstable without a particular substance, behavior, or person. This dependency goes beyond the physical. It can be psychological, manifesting as an emotional reliance that affects one’s overall well-being. She describes how physical addiction might trigger noticeable symptoms like tremors, but an emotional dependency can also cause unease or even despair when the attachment is missing.
It can be hard to distinguish a healthy attachment from a harmful dependency. Dr. Vasadi describes a continuum where dependency only becomes “addiction” when it begins to disrupt normal functioning or cause harm. Enjoying a daily coffee, for instance, doesn’t equate to addiction unless being deprived of it leads to significant distress or a sense of disorientation.
Dr. Vasadi also uses the phrase “heightened attachment” to talk about activities or preferences that are strong but generally not harmful. For example, a love of books or a hobby may be deeply fulfilling without veering into addiction. However, once the activity becomes crucial to one’s stability, it may have crossed the line.
A fascinating area we explored was relationship dependency—when a person relies heavily on another for emotional stability. Dr. Vasadi explains that this often originates in a low sense of self-worth, making it hard for the person to function independently. A compelling example she gave was of someone who experiences deep anxiety whenever their partner is away. Such dependency can strain relationships, often creating an unhealthy dynamic and frustration for both people involved.
An underlying aspect of many addictions is the need for control. For some, predictable sources of comfort or distraction become essential tools for managing anxiety or fear. This might mean substance use for some, while others lean on social media, gaming, or other behaviors that offer temporary escape. Dr. Vasadi points out that this need for control often brings short-term relief but can feed deeper insecurities and fears.
A significant insight Dr. Vasadi shared is that childhood trauma or unmet needs often play a role in fostering addiction. Many people form dependencies as a way to cope with lingering insecurities or feelings of inadequacy. For those who didn’t experience stable support in childhood, there’s often an unconscious search for relationships or behaviors that can fill these early voids.
Dr. Vasadi emphasizes that recognizing addiction is crucial but often difficult. People frequently go to great lengths to deny their dependencies, justifying their actions as “normal” by comparing themselves to others. Physical symptoms or ultimatums from loved ones sometimes serve as the needed wake-up call. This is where family, friends, and healthcare professionals play a vital role, helping the person see their situation clearly and openly.
Recovering from addiction is rarely a solo effort. Having supportive loved ones can make the journey more bearable and help reduce the chances of relapse. Therapy also plays a crucial role, not just by reducing dependency but by fostering the individual’s confidence, self-esteem, and resilience. Therapy, especially when combined with self-reflection, enables a person to rebuild their life on a more solid foundation.
Dr. Vasadi shared an example from studies on Vietnam War veterans that showed how environment impacts recovery. Soldiers who returned home were more likely to overcome addiction than those who stayed in high-stress settings. This insight highlights how surroundings can either support or hinder recovery, underscoring the benefit of a fresh setting—especially one that feels safe and stable.
A unique point was the connection between addiction and what Dr. Vasadi refers to as a kind of “inner child” state. Addictive behaviors often mimic the child’s dependence on a caregiver for safety and comfort. For adults, this dependency shifts to people or substances that provide similar temporary relief. Therapy aims to build the capacity for self-reliance, guiding individuals to take on the independence needed to let go of these dependencies.
Overcoming addiction goes beyond sheer willpower. We explored specific tools that help people achieve lasting change. Instead of just avoiding a substance or behavior, it’s important to address the root of the dependency. This process often involves reflection, developing new coping methods, and, in some cases, avoiding certain places or people. True healing requires finding new ways to cope, without relying on old habits, often with the help of skilled professionals and supportive connections.
One of the most powerful takeaways from this conversation was that courage is at the heart of recovery. Facing one’s fears, acknowledging dependencies, and asking for help are not easy steps. It requires a type of courage that can feel raw and uncomfortable, but ultimately, it’s also transformative. For those struggling with addiction, this courage is not just about willpower but about staying with the discomfort and uncertainty, accepting support, and being willing to grow.
In reflecting on Dr. Vasadi’s words, it’s clear that addiction, in all its forms, is complex but can be overcome with support, strategies, and—most importantly—the courage to take the first steps. For anyone facing addiction or supporting someone through it, it’s essential to understand that recovery is a layered, ongoing process, and with patience and resilience, real change is possible.